Driving in Malta, an EU country formerly occupied by the British, should be a fairly straightforward thing, right? In practice, it is not always so. Here’s why.

Driving on the left

On narrow country lanes with no middle line, it is easy to forget that the Maltese drive on the left hand side. But, coming face-to-face with an overcoming vehicle, it is easy to remember! Some far-fetched occasions have even seen tourists turning anti-clockwise around a lonely roundabout when they should be turning clockwise. On top of that, there’s that joke that the Maltese don’t actually drive on the left, they drive in the shade…oh dear!

Cruising in the overtaking lane

It’s left-hand drive, right? Then, why is this car cruising in the overtaking lane? Maltese people do not seem to understand the concept of the ‘overtaking lane’. They simply take the opportunity when whenever they can. Inevitably, other cars will take to the left lane to overtake the supposedly overtaking car. Oh, what a mess! Just get used to it.

Not using indicators

Maltese drivers assume you’re intelligent enough to figure out where they’re going. They go about their business zooming through the Maltese road network with its many roundabouts without a single flick of the indicator lights. They simply laugh if you point this out, chuckling that it is a "Maltese thing." It is truly a surprise that more accidents don't happen.

Double parking with the hazard lights on

Demonstrating a sense of irony, Maltese drivers will heartily complain about those other Maltese drivers double parking, while also doing it themselves. After all, "everyone else does it, so why shouldn’t I?"

Blue parking bays

White, yellow, and blue parking bays? Blue parking bays are reserved for residents to certain cities such as Valletta and Mdina, both walled cities with limited parking. Yellow bays are usually also reserved. Stick to the white ones and make sure you’ve checked all the nearby signage - while street parking is free, some bays are time-restricted and fines cost!

Traffic

There’s a lot of it, yes. Everyone who turns 18 in Malta gets a car soon afterwards. The bus service is not very tempting. Most people grow to love the independence and will drive their own car anywhere, even if they can carpool or walk. Yet, most of Malta’s cities were built centuries before the automobile was conceived. Need I say more?

Side street madness

The most unpredictable things seem to happen in side streets. Maltese drivers will come at you from all directions, even down one way streets. They use the side streets to escape the traffic congestion typical on most main roads and are usually in a hurry. Drive very slowly, inch out of all junctions and always look both ways - take your time, it’s worth it.

Road accidents

If the crash is a serious one, you must, by law, leave the car where it is and call the police. Even if you hold up all the traffic. Even if they take ages to arrive, which they invariably do. 

Floods

Come a good storm, many roads turn into rivers. No kidding. What else would you expect of a road named Valley Road? This is also true of reclaimed areas such as Msida and Burmarrad, where nature continues to disagree that there should be a road where the rainwater wants to get to the sea.

That about sums up the strangest things you might experience on the road. Now you’re prepared.