The Maltese: genial, easy-going folk with a penchant for heated argument, tuned to the temperature of the midday sun. Or are we? Beyond the tourist brochures and the optimistic ramblings of your uncle who’s lived his entire life on the rock, the Maltese may relish both in showing you a good time, and in telling you how bad things can get.
And the rain can really whip this island into a frenzy, whether by punching the ground in heavy-handed blows, like a boxer who’s on a winning streak, or spitting in your face like your grandmother who’s forgotten to put in her dentures. It washes away the stereotype to reveal a nation streaming with conflicting idiosyncrasies, and secretly smiling when the clouds start to gather. We present some evidence…
1. The rain is a good excuse to stay home
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All that going out can sometimes be exhausting. BBQ after BBQ after BBQ. Ok, we’re not really complaining – after all, who doesn’t love the taste of a sausage with ash on the palate (no, really!) You’ve been conditioned your whole life to think summer inside is an oxymoron, but this can lead to exhaustion and a crazy craving for October (or, as we like to call it back-to-school month, even if you haven’t touched a textbook in 10 years). The rain makes you feel less guilty for reneging on your promise to meet that friend, catch that party or head to the shops. Instead, you can snuggle at home and drink some tea. Bliss.
2. We can be late…and have a ready excuse
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Let’s admit it. We’re a nation noted for its tardiness. We wouldn’t know what ‘on time’ is if it came, slapped us in the face and yelled the hour. But what some think of as a sign of a Mediterranean lifestyle, others (rightly) bemoan the disrespect it shows to other people’s time. Not when it rains though. When the sky opens, there’s a reason – and a valid one too – for not getting to that meeting or appointment when you were supposed to. Why? Refer to point number 3!
3. There’s the opportunity for some very surreal sights
Flooding, that’s why. Does anyone remember those coffins sailing down the road in Qormi a few years back? Or the multitude of cars choked to a stop and floating away, with their owners smoking cigarettes on the roof, waiting for Civil Protection? Well, we do – which is all so entertaining on a small island, the borders of which can be seen from the viewpoint in Mdina.
4. Like the English, we can talk about it – incessantly!
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This may be a by-product of our colonial heritage, but we oh-so-love to talk about the weather. When it’s hot, it’s too hot. But, when its raining, the sky is the limit on the number of things we can complain about. It’s a veritable Pandora’s Box, with so much to choose from, you don’t even know where to start, and, similar to a Lidl sale, you’re not even sure if you can even get there first.
5. And, we can even check into Facebook to do so! (like we needed ANY excuse)
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If the powers-that-be took Facebook addiction seriously, we’d have many on these islands signing up to the-ironically-named FA (Facebook Anonymous). The amount of time many in Malta spend on this social media platform is astronomical: whether at the library (when you’re supposed to be studying) or on the bus (about to miss your stop) and even in your car (tsk, tsk – hang your head in shame!). So, do we need more of an excuse to log in? Do we need someone else expressing the bleedin’ obvious? Absolutely not. Yes, it’s raining outside. We have windows. Thank you.
6. We can wear that expensive jumper/cardigan/boots we spent an arm and a leg on
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Why oh why do we spend so much money on winter clothes when we’re blessed with long days of sun in summer and winter? This is why, I actually hear you grin, your lips stretched to the nether regions of your face like The Joker in Batman. While we must always plan for every eventuality – and no one likes sandals sodden with streaming, sloppy water. Well, the hint of a grey cloud does not mean you can whip out your thick cardie. It may be raining but it’s still hot…unless you’re ranking the aircon up high to mimic colder weather…
7. We can head to empty beaches and swim in the rain
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It might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but there’s a certain joyous excitement to swimming in the rain. Water above. Water below. For water fetishists everywhere, it’s heaven! And, ne’er a soul to see, for when the rain comes, beach goers usually sprint off the sand faster than you can say ‘where’s everyone going?’. Of course, this does not apply if the island is being hammered by a thunderstorm. In that case – GO HOME!
8. We get to look forward to the sun again!
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This is probably the best bit.
Main Image: moo_aus / Instagram